He Saved my Life…

Even though I know I said that I was going to write about being thankful for more than just my husband and kids, I definitely have to close out the month with being thankful for my husband.

I can still remember the first time I laid eyes on him. We were working at the county detention center and I was still in training. He was the unit officer and my friend and I were working one of the bigger units along with him and our training officer. During rec (4 hours of recreation time – 2 hours per floor – to watch TV, shower, use the phones, etc.) he was leaning ever so smoothly against a counter effortlessly running the unit. Outside of height and build his caramel brown skin and wavy Caesar fade were not my type, but that night I watched him read a novel and have conversations about things that matter without trying to flirt or get in my pants. I fell hard. And fast…

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Growing up, every year on all of our birthdays, my grandmother would call at six in the morning to sing us Happy Birthday. The first year my husband and I were dating, when my birthday came he had to work day shift, which meant he had to be at work by 5:45am. On his way in to work he called and left me a voicemail wishing me a happy birthday. He called me before my grandmother did, and from that moment my heart was his.

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When my first husband passed away I thought I’d never love again and vowed never to do so… but I was 21 so what did I know? The therapist said that despite the fact that I knew it wasn’t his fault and he didn’t die intentionally, I had abandonment issues. When Trevor came into my life, he loved me effortlessly. At 27 when we were discussing getting married I was in a different kind of love, and at 35 it’s different still.

He’s accepted issues and flaws in me that I just knew no man ever could or would. Long before he ever told me that he loved me, his love healed the wounds left on my heart and guided me to repair relationships with my parents that I accepted had long since ended. He opened his life up to me and allowed me to love his daughter. He put his trust in me and allowed me to be the mother of our two sons. He teases me. He makes fun of me. He bothers me. He gets on my damn nerves! He kisses me. He hugs me. He laughs with me. He’s cried with me. He pushes me. He challenges me. He argues with me. He makes me better. I never knew what people meant when they said that someone saved their life just by loving them, but now I know. Even though there are days that I question my purpose and wonder what God is doing with me in this life that I never imagined, I know that if not for Trevor, if not for our love I don’t know where I’d be or what I’d be doing or who I’d be doing it with. I do know that even when he takes the eggs out the middle of the carton or steals my almonds just to mess with my OCD, and when he puts the water jug back in the fridge empty and grates on my last good nerve I’m still thankful for him.

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I’m thankful that God sent him to me to save my life…

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