Self-Care Step 1: Recognizing that it’s time to take care of YOU.
I’ve been on something of a blog hiatus trying to work some things out in my head and heart. I thought about blogging for a while before I actually started, and when I finally did, it was for two reasons:
- I wanted to share both recipes and my thoughts and experiences that other women and moms could possibly relate to, and
- My bestie said I should.
Lately, I’ve been unhappy health-wise and in a weird place as a woman and a mom, so trying to blog about things that I’m passionate about when I’m not sure what’s going on with me seemed like it would have been very unauthentic, and that is something I just can’t be. I needed some time to sit back and take stock of everything I have going on and what I want to add or remove from that equation and hopefully come back enlightened and better than before I put away my laptop… but I’m not.
I feel sad and tired and stressed and angry and overwhelmed and upset that I’m not where I want to be or doing what I want to be doing, but I can’t ever seem to get my shit together because I’m far too busy helping others do just that. Have you ever felt like that? Somehow in the midst of your mess your friend and your sister and your cousin and your co-worker are all going through different things at the same time and they all value your advice, so they all come to you at the same time you’re going through something, but you’re the strong one. You’re the one that never complains. You’re the one who cries in the shower. You’re the one who looks like you have it all together so the thought that you don’t have it together never crosses their minds. To imagine that you are breaking down and falling apart inside and don’t know why (or maybe you do) is unimaginable to them, so one text message becomes a rolling novel of responses and one question becomes a telephone conversation that’s hours long, and your stuff sits in a box on your heart collecting dust waiting for you to open it up and finally tend to it. The things you want to say and feelings that you need to deal with are left for another day, another time when you aren’t as needed… but when will that be?
When will I ever stop giving so much of myself to everyone else and leaving me behind? I don’t know that I ever truly will, but I’m trying to do better about taking my beastie’s advice in self-care, and I’m starting with my health. On paper I’m healthy, but my world is so full of stuff that the lack of focus on me can have a negative effect on my body if I ignore it. So I decided to stop ignoring it, but I also decided that it’s okay to NOT tackle everything at once because I’m bad about that too. I tend to want everything fixed right now when in truth, everything must be fixed one thing at a time.
I finally found a workout I love and have been consistently working out at least 4 days a week. I’m about to start my second cleanse – reviews to come – and new way of eating (now knowing what foods my tastebuds and body are in conflict over). More than that, I’m working on a list of priorities and stepping away from things and people that don’t fit into where I really want to be. It’s hard and sometimes emotionally painful, but I have to be honest with myself or none of this matters.
I just wanted to share that because maybe you feel this way too…
Hopefully you’ll follow me on this journey into self-care and get a few tips, maybe learn some things about yourself, and come out a little more balanced and a whole lot happier!